1. Be certain you've a fucking buzzer and inform us if it
doesn’t function. When you've got a doorman, please don’t give us a fake name. Get
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2. Have your money ready! I don’t desire to wait about while
you scramble for it.
3. In the event you cannot wait two hours for me to show up,
I feel sorry for you. Don’t text and harass. You wait an hour for shitty
Chinese food; wait for your weed. People in Manhattan are so fucking impatient.
4. Wear clothing. I’ve noticed saggy boxer shorts, boobs,
breast-feeding mothers. I’ve seen almost everything brief of genitals.
5. If your door guy is problematic, make certain you inform
him that you are expecting a visitor.
6. Should you live with people and also you go out prior to
I arrive, tell an individual. It is the worst when roommates and even
youngsters or partners are like, “Who the fuck are you currently?”
7. Buy in bulk should you can. I usually serve college kids
who are clearly using their parents’ money and they call daily. Daily! And they
get one each and every time. Possess a small self-control or just acquire it
all from me at when. I have one buyer who I see five times per week. He just
buys one every time and barely talks to me. He’s really awkward. No eye
contact. Just mumbles.
8. I’m not your friend. I have relationships using a couple
of clientele, but you have to preserve a distance. They commonly ignore me if
they see me around the street, or they look at me as if they just saw a zoo
animal. I've surely had weird interactions with dudes (I'd by no means hook up
using a buyer), but I do not like interacting with men in New York period. They
may be a different breed.
9. Don’t shout “Thank you!” when I leave. I don’t possess a
food bag. The money will be the thank-you. Do not be so obvious.
10. If there’s a blizzard, contemplate tipping. In general
tipping will not be expected, but if I've walked on foot by way of the snow,
it’s the polite issue to accomplish. We were open throughout Sandy! It was
tough for the reason that there was hardly any cell-phone coverage or
transport, and numerous shoppers didn’t even tip!
11. Don’t call when you find yourself getting a party.
12. If your companion doesn’t know you smoke, get a new
partner. Please don’t put me within the middle of that.
13. Should you have youngsters, put them in one more room. I
had one guy who tried to get me to hide behind a Dumpster because he had his
children with him and he was involved in a custody battle. I’ve seen a woman
bust open her daughter’s piggy bank to get cash to pay me.
14. When I’m there, you gotta invest in one thing. You
cannot inform me you do not like the choice I've to offer you. It doesn't
operate like that. I have to become sturdy about that. It is vital to maintain
your power.
15. Whenever you send your initial text for us to come more
than, be cool. Just say “Can you come hang?” or “Can you come by?” Do not make
use of the words weed, pot, or marijuana, and do not ask if I am a cop. Don’t
use the word cop. Period. Don’t inform me you are not a cop. Just don’t say
cop.
16. It is good to present food or a drink, but not
necessary. This occurs lots, I guess for the reason that stoners like to
consume.
17. It is nice to offer you the restroom. I will normally
use it when supplied and I hate to ask. I’ll admit, I’ve stolen tampons and
Band-Aids. Hey, I’m out on the street all day. Once I was angry due to the fact
the client was late, wasted, and lippy, so I stole their elite pearl deluxe
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18. Do not be as well weird. I once visited a guy in Soho
who had probably the most sterile, creepy apartment. He proudly informed me
that he has cameras everywhere. I in no way went back.
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